Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
