id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
