If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
