Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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