I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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