I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Randomize
