This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
