he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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