I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
