he was CRYING into my vagina
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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