some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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