Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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