why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
