So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
