I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
