Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
