If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
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