JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
and i looked up. we had an audience...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
