My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize