Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
MIDGETS
????
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
