If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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