her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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