The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
