why didn't you poke me back
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
