cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My hand turned me down
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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