so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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