we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Panties = found
Randomize
