New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize