I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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