now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
