I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
