Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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