he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Randomize