Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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