I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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