her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
