Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
