you have to choose: penises or morals?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
