Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
