Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
