I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
