Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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