My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
