last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
