Duck Duck Cougar?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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