New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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