She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
