my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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