At least make sure they are 18
Why
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
