Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
