put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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