Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
