I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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