Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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