you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
