Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
