If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
