Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
How does it feel to date your dad?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
