When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
