Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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