the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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