i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
do nipples grow back?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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