Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
